Waiting to vote., A small price to pay to assert control over our city government.

By now, candidates, your mother, friends – who seriously believe that their participation in the election makes them superior – and others have given you the standard reasons why you should vote. Let’s review them briefly…

• It’s your civic duty.

“This argument presumes that I actually care about other people that I don’t even know.”

• If you don’t vote, you have no right to complain.

“Oh, yeah? Says who? I’m going to complain whether I voted or not. So, get over it.”

• It’s in your own best interest to elect the most qualified candidate.

“Really? If you ask me, they’re all a bunch of yahoos.”

• You’re letting a small minority of mostly older voters determine your future. Don’t you believe in majority rule?

“I believe in being left alone to do whatever I want. Besides, I voted once and it didn’t make any difference. My guy didn’t even win. It was so disappointed. And I had to wait in line behind a woman with two little kids that were…”

Okay, okay. We get it. Thank you.

“Wait. I’m not done yet.”

Thank you anyway.

There are probably other reasons, but we have one, the last and maybe best ever reason for you to vote. …Ready?

“Sure. Hit me.”

It’s your chance to f**k with the pollsters and the media. (We know. It’s like a dream come true.) Here’s the deal. Political polling is based on a concept of “likely voters” which, in turn, is based on some rule, such as “voted in at least one of the last 2 elections.” People meeting those criteria are the ones the pollsters sample and from whom they get the results the media report.

Okay, so let’s say you haven’t voted recently. You’re not going to be sampled. They’re not going to see you coming. It’s how Bernie Sanders has been beating Hillary Clinton in some of the primaries even when she had been leading in the polls.

So, go ahead and vote. Have some fun messing with their heads. And when the election night coverage is on the TV at your local bar or living room and the “experts” are all shaking their heads given how far off they were – and the pollsters are home wondering if they’ll still have jobs in the morning – you can smile, take a swig of your beer and say to yourself,

“Wow. I did that.”

Pretty cool, huh?